Reply to I am mean, unhappy and make everyone miserable

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[quote=Anonymous]I like reading these threads because I like hearing about other women's DHs.  My DH is the same way (sits on the couch while I am doing dishes).  We both work FT but I handle almost everything related to the kids (breakfast in the morning, packing lunches, baths, reading and bedtime).  I also cook during the week and handle our finances.  He does do the grocery shopping and laundry.  Every once in a while we will have a big argument (last time was because I asked him to make lunch for the kids so I could work out instead of him) and he will realize he should help more.  But it never lasts for more than a few weeks.

I tried therapy and that helped a bit but I think the main thing is just accepting that's the way DH is and knowing it will get easier when the kids are older (both are under 5 right now).  I am not sure why many men are wired to think women should take care of the house and kids when they also work FT.  Funny thing is my DH thinks he is progressive (he had a very traditional home where the mom stayed at home and took care of the kids and the dad worked long hours and never lifted a finger at home).  I don't think he realizes he is more like his dad than he thinks.  (My favorite is when he finishes dinner and leaves his plate on the table for me to clean).  When we argue, he claims I am melodramatic and always looking for something to be depressed about.  He points out we have a very nice life, nice house, nanny, cleaning person, etc.  And that is all true.  But I guess I compare my life to his.  He has all of that *and* someone to cook for him, handle the bills, and take care of the kids...[/quote]

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