Reply to How bad will it be for dc to be one of the have-nots at private school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone care to be more specific? We live in a townhouse and drive modest cars...but our kids have iPhones, Uggs, North Face jackets, club/travel sports, vacations, and will likely get used cars when they turn 16.

I'm wondering what specific things make older kids feel the sting. [/quote]

I can answer this one. I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood. While we did our clothing shopping at the same stores everyone else did but when we walked into the store headed straight for the sale racks, and we didn't have a vacation home anywhere. The first time I went in an airplane I was 11. A lot of times we only went on one vacation a year, whereas my friends from school went to Disney even for the 3-day weekends. When I'd ask my mother for a tape of a song I liked, her response was "Tape it off the radio." I remember being in a car with three friends, and getting left out of the talk as they chatted about their trips to Europe (11th grade), and all I could do was listen or ask questions. THAT really stung. [/quote]

Wow. This is pretty remarkable for how out of touch it is.

I grew up on a farm.  My clothes were all either hand-me-downs from my brother, purchased at the Salvation Army, or -- on rare occasions -- new from Walmart.  The first time I saw a movie in a theater I was 17.

It never "really stung" because I worked my ass off for what I achieved and I was, and am, proud of my hard-working, blue-collar family.  The other kids at my school might have had Abercrombie and North Face, but I'm the only one who went to Harvard.

OP, raise your children in a way that makes them proud of what they have, not waddle in self-pity for what they have not.  Even if they do feel a twinge every now and then, use it as a teaching moment.  They are just as good as anyone else and if you are damn sure that's true, they too will grow to believe it.

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