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[quote=Anonymous]It's really not as simple as some of you pps would like to make it. There isn't some light switch that you just flip. And your tough love attitude probably does nothing but make the OP feel worse about herself, which though you might not understand this, will only make it harder for her to leave if that's what she chooses. All it does is damage her self-esteem. NOT HELPFUL.

Look, this really is more like a death. If the OP's husband had died, you wouldn't talk to her this way. Yet psychologically, what's happening to her is very similar to the grief process that happens with death. And, in fact, something has died! Her illusions about her husband, the dreams of a happy marriage, her hopes for herself, her kids, and their future... She's dealing with the five stages of grief here and you guys want her to go from denial to acceptance in 10 minutes. Her life is literally falling apart around her. Give it a rest already with the tough talk. She's allowed to mourn.

Honestly, are you people really that clueless that you don't see this?[/quote]

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