Reply to How to ask in-laws not to come for DC's event

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think it's fine to say something like,

"We'd love to have you!  Sometime after [insert landmark event or date of choice here] would work best for us.  Just let us know!  Looking forwadr to seeing you!"

I have said a similar thing to my MIL and it worked.  They wanted to come at a time period that was just super-crazy for us:  my DH was going to be away two times for a week at a time for work, my DD was having two surgeries, and I was working on a massive project for work.  I wanted to just get all these things under our belt so that I could then take a collective breath and focus on a nice visit.

I say it has "worked' b/c she respected these boundaries and did not come during our crazy time.  Now, I don't know how she TRULY felt about it (was she hurt?  I don't know) but actually I cannot waste my time worrying about this. I think it's perfectly fine for the nuclear family to POLITELY set reasonable boundaries and to speak up within a family.  No need to treat everyone with kid gloves, you know?  I think an adult can hear, "We'd love to have you!  Here are the dates that work for us.  Jsut let us know!" and not start sniveling and crying that their feelings are hurt.  Shrug.  Just my two cents.  [/quote]

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