Reply to mom wants to leave more $ to me than to my brother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does she think your kids are the only grandkids she will have?  Maybe the wife can't have/doesn't want any, but your brother could have kids later with someone else.[/quote]

This raises an interesting question though, if as a grandparent you want to leave to your grandkids, how do you do so given that it may still be possible for you to have more?  Even if you give to your kids 50/50 with the intent that X% go to their kids,[b] one could have more children than the other[/b].[/quote]

Which is why you should allocate inheritances equally among your children, not among your grandchildren.  Your own children and their families will understand that concept.  To do otherwise is to indicate favoritism, which might be your intent.

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But if you want to provide to your grandchildren and you divide it among your children, you are favoring the grandchild with less siblings, no?  For example let's say grandparents have two kids and want to help with the education of their grandkids, and say child A has one kid and child B has two.  They could provide the same amount of money to each kid to pay for college of their kid(s), but then  the grandparents have favored child of A over the children of kid B, no?  Child of A will have more money for school than the children of B who have to split.  I guess it depends on who they are trying to give to--their kids or their grandkids. How does it show favoritism to a child to give the same amount to each grandchild?  So if grandparents spend $50 on each grandchild for the holidays, their favoring their kid who had two kids over the one who had one? [/quote]

We are not talking about small amounts here when it comes to inheritances.  Add a few zeros to that $50 gift and it becomes significant.  Let's say Child A and his wife decided to limit the number of children they had in order to buy a home, pay for college and fund his and his spouse's retirement.  So he only had one child.  Child B decided to have two children and, as a result, stayed home and could not pay for college for both children nor fully fund her and her husband's retirement.   Their mother decides to leave more to Child B so her family can send both kids to college and have a better retirement.  Is this fair?  Depends on which child you ask.
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But if the kids (not grandkids) know this in advance: I, the grandparent, want to pay for the college education of all my grandchildren--you can factor that in.  You say leaving it to Child B to provide to grandchildren.  But what if you provide it directly in trust/529 whatever directly to the grandchildren.  Child B doesn't get to offset retirement funding failure.  It's directly to the grandkids.  I get that child A might say you gave B more.  But not really.  you gave each of your grandchildren the same.  You're suggesting that it's unfair to provide for all grandchildren equally and all should filter through the kids?  What if I don't want a certain amount to go to the kids but to my grandkids?  [/quote]

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