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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Thanks for the comments. I talked to her about this today, and she pointed out that she does eat a lot when she likes the food, which is true. That may be part of denial, but I don't think she has a major food problem -- yet. But getting on top of it has to be more of a priority.

No, she is the "good" kid, the "easy" kid in our family, so that pressure has to bother her. She does not get nearly as much attention as the SN kids, but of course, she doesn't need speech therapy, OT, PT, varioius other therapies, special schools, etc.

She seemed to relax quite a bit when I talked to her about this. She said it was all a lot easier before she came to her new school. Everything was less pressured. So I told her she can quit whatever she isn't interested in, and she said she'd think about it. I don't know if that's handing her too much, but I tried to hold the door open to her. I made an agreement with all our children that they can quit music lessons at age 16. I quit at that age, and I regret it. But I want them to have some musical education, and make an informed decision about quitting.

I actually told her she could quit violin six months ago, and she said she didn't want to do it. Since then, her playing has become much better, but not great, according to her teacher, who yes is a perfectionist.

I really wasn't thinking about how much pressure she's under. She always handled everything really well in the past.

Thanks again for all the thoughtful posts. It has give me a lot to think about, and discuss with DH and DD. [/quote]

Why are you looking for every reason to avoid seeing a professional?  She tells you she eats food that she likes and you assume that means she doesn't have an eating disorder?  This when (1) you've been told in the past that she has an eating issue, (2) you've observed yourself that she is limiting her food and is very thin, (3) you are taking her word for it about "food she likes"?  Do you know anything about eating disorders?  Its like addiction, these girls LIE (or exaggerate) to protect their ability to continue with disordered eating.

Stop discussing this with your DD.  You are just probing her for reasons for you to now worry, which will only heighten her anxiety and won't help with her issues.  I am beginning to suspect you won't take her to see a professional until it become a real crisis, but that what you should do.[/quote]

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