Reply to My husband cheated once and I'm ready to end it...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think his reaction is key. If he has shown genuine remorse and a desire to make things right, that is one thing. If he's impatient because you haven't forgiven him without him really doing very much other than ending the affair, that's a different story. Granted there's a lot of gray area in between but which way the scales are tilting matters a lot.[/quote]

Totally agree. That said, it may take time for him to get there. We were "working" on our marriage or so I thought for a few months but he was still seeing her, a lot less often, but it was still an affair. Affairs are notoriously difficult to untangle from. Most people have such self-loathing after the initial passion phase wears off that they feel they need the other person to numb them from that. I don't understand it, at all, but it's been helpful to read about it and learn from people's experiences online.

The sexual part finally ended, running its course, then they still were talking/emailing a bit off and on for a few months. Finally, my husband snapped out of it and confessed it had still been going on, which was a horrible nightmare all over again. Though by that time I had done enough work on myself that I could handle it better, and he had been through enough that he didn't want to the man he had turned into anymore. It was then that we started working on the marriage for real. Then I saw true remorse, and a sincere pattern of making things right. It's a long effing road and I never in a million years thought we'd be here. But it does get better and the marriage can get better. He's gotta be out of the affair though. [/quote]

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