Reply to Do you ever wish your adopted child were more like you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am mother of 3 sons. Two adopted and one biological. Yes, when I am most honest with myself, in the quiet moments of my life, I realize that I do have a favorite child. I It feels horrible to even write that, and I hope my 3 kids never feel or sense that.  But I have found myself most attached to one of my (adopted) sons. He is the most like me. We get along and always have. He is a young man now, and is truly a kindred spirit. I have never met such a gentle, calm, intelligent and generous person, and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to raise him. [b]I would so love to meet his  birth parents some day, as I am sure he carries these lovely traits from them.[/b] He has been this way since birth. We don't have every interest in common, and we don't need to, but our personalities are in common, if that makes sense.

I find that I do not have that same personality chemistry with my bio child and my other adopted child. So my relationships with them require more "work" and effort. That is part of family life and the effort is always worth it. But I do think a parent's connection with a child has everything to do with personality, and no with how they came into the family (by birth or adoption or stepchild). I love all 3 kids, and would do anything for them. But I know in my heart that there is a special place for my adopted son who is a ray of sunshine for me and for many people. I don't have to be genetically related to him to feel that. I am not genetically related to my wonderful husband, and I feel that connection and chemistry also.[/quote]

This goes against everything being said here.

I would say however in my family that there are definite commonalities shared between the genetically related ones. Many of the guys (my brother, nephew, father, male cousins) have a similar gait and speech pattern. It is bizarre. they all sound the same and walk the same even though they have been raised in different families - the biological link there is strong. We are also as an entire family pretty much tone deaf with no musical people in the family other than one of my adopted cousins. I do think nature plays a significant role but I also think that biologically everything we are is inherited from the man and woman who created us and that can't be dismissed. [/quote]

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