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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid went through this. She asked for a binder, and I got her one. It was just a more muscular version of a sports bra. She wore it for a couple of years while coming to terms with the garbage fire that is femininity today-- through puberty, basically. Once she became more comfortable with her new body, she stopped.

I think it's great that kids today--whether they end up trans or cis-- have the option of postponing becoming capital-w Women, rather than being thrown into the deep end, complete with sexualization they're not ready for. I was told to "enjoy the attention, it won't last" when I was a body-conscious adolescent. [/quote]

A little off topic but as an adult lesbian looking back at my tween/teen self’s life you are onto something with some girls using this as a way to postpone and/or avoid unwanted attention and sexualization and the other negative things that can come with being an adult female in our society.
I do wish there were more open conversations about that instead of the pressure to affirm non-female identities sometimes leading to medical transition. 
There is a generation of young females that have been led astray with this stuff.[/quote]

Agreed. As a parent in a liberal community, I saw a lot of kids go through puberty, with varying degrees of comfort. Some went straight to push-up bras and makeup. Some leaned hard the other way. Of maybe two dozen kids, ONE ended up actually being transgender by HS graduation. Most of the middle school girls who changed their pronouns and cut their hair and wore binders or baggy clothes just weren't ready to be women. And I don't blame them one bit.

I see it as protective coloring. Fawns have spots to camouflage them in a vulnerable time in their lives. Why can't our girls have camouflage to protect them from a society that wants to sexualize them in childhood? And why on earth should this be political? Or medical, if I'm being honest. The too-liberal parents who rush an 11 year old for gender affirming care are on the extreme (and wrong IMO) end of the spectrum. Love your kids. Make them feel safe. Get to know who they are and [b]be patient[/b] while THEY get to know who they are.

It's a turbulent time in any person's life; the job of the parent is to hold them up while the waves crash around them. Permanent decisions can wait for after the maelstrom. [/quote]

Gender-affirming care is the evidence-based standard of care endorsed by AMA and AAP. This is a not a "do your own research" situation. I assume you are not an anti-vaxxer, in which case there is no helping you.[/quote]

"the evidence-based standard of care " [i]for whom[/i]?

For every little girl who gets her period and says "I don't wanna!"?? For kids who are happy as children and don't want to be adults yet?

Or for kids with mental health issues beyond the shitshow that is typical puberty?

Hating your body and feeling uncomfortable with the transition to sexual maturity is normal. It does not usually require a specialist, who is essentially a person with a hammer to whom everything is a nail. Listen, sometimes a hammer IS the right tool. But I see a lot of people (on the internet mostly) reaching for the hammer before trying anything else, and I think that's the wrong approach.

Lucky for you, I am not your mother. Lucky for my kid, I validated her and supported her and provided her a safe space and developmentally-appropriate distraction from the totally-typical upheavals of puberty, rather than medicalizing her and encouraging her to think there was something wrong with her that needed to be fixed. It took time. (Time I wish I had been granted, instead of being told I needed to start wearing pantyhose and "acting like a lady".) If her discomfort [i]hadn't[/i] resolved with time, I would have sought out professional help. But it did, as will happen with most kids-- as evidenced by the continued survival of the species and the success of the wedding-industrial complex.

But I think you know that. I think you're dug into an extreme position, and will defend it to the death. I hope you find your peace.

For other parents with kids who are questioning, I see you, I know it's weird (that was your squishy little baby!) and possibly scary-- Trump's America is not kind to women and trans people-- and I encourage you to give it time and love. See who your kid turns out to be.[/quote]
This.  People use the vocabulary their culture provides to describe their experiences, and that can shape their experiences.  Not every kid who hits puberty and feels like their body has turned against them is transgender. We used to call them "late bloomers" or "tomboys."  Now the cultural vocabulary is about gender identity.  A huge part of parenting a kid through puberty is helping them sort out what's normal (albeit unpleasant or uncomfortable) versus what's a sign of something being wrong.  Discomfort with puberty sometimes, but not always, signals a discomfort with one's assigned sex, and sorting that out can be tricky.  [/quote]

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