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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This kind of behavior comes from insecurity and low EQ (or immature EQ).

I had a friend like this in high school.  I dropped her as a friend because I lost patience.

She was higher-achieving but ended up a rich SAHM.

I got a free ride to a great grad program and am a well-compensated working mom by choice.

I think each of us ended up where we wanted to be.  It's too bad and was unnecessary for her to alienate me along the way.  I'm still friends with a nicer girl from that same era in our lives.

When I look back, I think a lot of her issues traced to being embarrassed by her middle class parents.  Her dad was an immigrant scientist with a thick accent and her mom was a cafeteria lunch lady.

Tell your kid that high EQ (people skills) goes farthest in most cases.  And that people have their own issues you can never really understand.  If you, as a parent, can help your kid craft a polite shutdown message, that might work.

"Family members share successes...there's no need to compare blow-by-blow details of x..."[/quote]

It’s funny that with your superior EQ you still have an urge to bring her down all these years later.  By your own admission, she got exactly what she wanted out of life - you are not better than her in any way.  [/quote]

PP.  I never said I was a nicer or better person or had better EQ.  I said I lost patience...because there was no point to the constant comparisons. I didn't feel bad...OR more motivated...just annoyed.   To me this is reporting on "how it was then, and how it is now" regarding teenagers competing with each other.  I still think about her as an example of what not to do if you want to have friends.  And I bet she never has thought about me in 30 years.  Because she was never socially introspective like that.

I'd actually be interested in talking to her as grownups but I fear the gap between us is too big.  I'm not jealous of what I learned about her life when looking up "What ever happened to..."  My fear is that because she values money so much, if I got in touch with her, I would learn nothing of any intellectual interest to me and would just have to hear "look how rich I am" for 90% of the conversation.  And I don't care about that stuff.

She was interesting when she talked about books or her thoughts about our classes or was occasionally radically honest.  But I had zero patience hearing about her Krugerrand necklace and her constant need to compare test scores when we both got As for almost every subject in every grade in high school.  This seems like the kind of issue OP's kid is having so I thought I'd put in my .02.[/quote]

Sure you didn’t [/quote]

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