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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went through this as a mom. It wasn’t until my youngest was 4 that I really snapped out of it.

What helped me the most was getting alone time to do the things I did before kids. I think people underestimate how much becoming a mother changes your identity, and I had to re-discover myself. I also needed solo time away from the house (being in the house is just a reminder of everything I need to do).

What did your wife like to do before kids? Rather than the extreme of a 2 week trip, what if she got a weekend day and maybe a weekend evening to go do whatever she wants to do?[/quote]

Op here

Before kids, she really loved going out and doing hikes. She was definitely more active and social.

I actually tried a smaller version of what you're suggesting a couple of months ago. I took the girls away for a night so she could have the house to herself and go do whatever she wanted. She did go out, but honestly, it didn't make any difference at all. When we came back, she was just as withdrawn and checked out as before. It seems like a break isn't the cure here.

I completely agree with you (and others) that therapy would be great. The problem is, whenever I bring it up, she very strongly shuts it down and calls it a waste of time. She refuses to even consider it.

How do I make therapy happen when she outright refuses? Do I ask more forcefully? I don't want to back her into a corner or be controlling, but I'm running out of ideas on how to get her to just try it. I really don't want to sound negative I still love her and want desperately to find a way to make it work for us
[/quote]

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