Reply to Gossipy People Who Ask About your Money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a single woman with two adult children and I just retired at 57 friends  ask me all the time how I can afford it.

I share my retirement income and my TSP balance.

I’ve actually had two friends retire after talking to me about my budget.

To me it’s not a big secret. I’m not sure why it would be.[/quote]

This is a good example of how it's situational.

I do discuss finances with a few friends who I trust and know to be in somewhat similar financial situations, especially regarding kids and extended family situations. That's helpful.

I have also had nosy neighbors, colleagues, and parents from my kids' school ask pointed questions about our finances and that's totally different. They aren't looking to share info so we all do better. They are looking to collect info they can gossip with. I know because they also gossip about other people's finances -- did you know Bob's new house cost over 2m? his wife got a big inheritance when her mom died last year, that's how they afforded it. Sheryl is underwater on her mortgage, it's too bad because she wants to get divorced but she can't afford it. You know Pete and Susan support Susan's dad completely because he lost all his money in a financial scam? I've always thought Susan lacked could sense and now you can see where that comes from.

It's not that finances are a secret. Anyone could go find out what I paid for my house or what it's worth now, and if you know me well enough to come over or spend much time with me or go out to eat with me, you'll learn things about my finances simply through observation. But especially when finances are tied to personal information and decisions (like kids, parents, marriages, etc.) you do have to be somewhat careful about what you share and with whom. A lot of people will think nothing of taking that info and assuming and exaggerating while discussing it with others, and that is generally not a good decision.[/quote]

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