Reply to Out of town in laws attendance at birthdays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter just turned 7. We had a birthday party with all her friends as she requested. My in laws live 4 hours away, we had already made plans to visit my in laws and extended family the weekend after her birthday party for a bridal shower so we did not invite my husbands family. We figured we would come early and spend a long weekend with everyone and celebrate my daughter with cake/etc.
My parents/siblings are local so we invited them. My nieces are around the same ages as my daughter and really wanted them there (nieces on my husband side are much younger).

My MIL is so offended she was not invited to her birthday and my parents/family were. Am i crazy for thinking this is absolutely out of line?! Despite the distance we see my ILs pretty often (at least one weekend a month).

I’m so tired of feeling guilty about inviting my parents to anything since they are local. My ILs live near their other grandchildren and kids so it’s not like they are alone. The other day we got a babysitter when my parents weren’t available and my MIL was upset because we didn’t ask her to come down and babysit. Is this normal?’

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Their disappointment is normal. They want to be around their grandkids and feel like a part of your family. They are also probably picking up on your subtle, but seemingly intentional, lack of inclusion. It reads like you're gaslighting your MIL to fit the narrative that you're the good and balanced person here. Fine, purposely don't invite them, but then don't make them out to be crazy when they're disappointed by your lack of warmth. 
To other posters saying that it's DH's job. I guess, but did your husband's plan your kids 7th birthday party lol?[/quote]

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