Reply to What would be the minimum frequency of sex to stay in your relationship / marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in a sexless marriage (I'm the xW, xH did not want sex with me). At the time, I would have settled for 2x a month, even though I would have preferred 2-3x a week.

Now, I think it's less about frequency and more about enthusiasm. I never want to be in a relationship where I have to issue an ultimatum for a minimum. I want someone who *wants* to have sex with me. If I have to negotiate, it's already over, let's just move on and sleep with other people.

Once per week where everyone is enthusiastic and wants to be there is better than 3 times per week where the other person would rather be doing anything else.[/quote]

I agree with you.  
My experience too is that not having sex also comes with not otherwise touching, flirting, or making each other laugh.

I don’t know that I need a certain amount of intercourse, but I do need a general feeling that we are in a romantic/sexual relationship in order to feel happy in my marriage.  [/quote]

Funny, I need the feeling that we are in a romantic relationship to want to have sex. Just kid/house logistics, an episode of Netflix and sex on the to-do list is such a turnoff for me.

Currently we do it once a week, I think it's the minimum my spouse can accept and the max I can without much other adult alone time. [/quote]
Yup. This “men need sex to have romantic feelings” and “women need intimacy to have sex” conundrum is tired AF. Men go their whole lives expecting to get what they want for existing and get resentful when they put zero effort into their relationship and think their partner’s body will somehow respond to them. Well, mine responds by building feelings of disgust. You don’t even like me, why would I F you? [/quote]

Well, if it makes you feel better, there is at least one guy on this thread who is doing all of the romantic stuff:  hugging, kissing, talking about emotions, and his wife still hasn’t had sex with him in years.  [/quote]

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