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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone else find this joint entertainment account weird? I mean, it's not a horrible idea or anything, but I have never heard of anyone doing this.

So I want to know how this came about. Was there tension over who was paying for dates? [/quote]

OP here.  This should answer a number of questions.  The joint entertainment account arose because  the previous arrangement — my partner occasionally picking up checks — was clearly creating tension — are they going to pick up this check?  So I advocated the joint approach:  since we’re together forever, why shouldn't picking up restaurant checks be the same as married couples with one-pot finances — it matters not whose card is used to pay the bill.

But my partner, while seeing the (irrefutable) logic of this, was not a fan I think.  They were in a mindset of wanting to be taken out for dinner.[/quote]

Is this part of a larger pattern or is this literally their only issue in which they are like this?

Also, how expensive are their tastes and how often do you eat out?  What kind of expectations does this person have?  Do they make up bill splitting elsewhere?

If this is their one weird quirk and it's not terribly expensive, I'd roll with it.

If their expectations are very expensive or this is part of a larger pattern of them not contributing equally, I'd reconsider this relationship.[/quote]
[b]
My partner has been very generous[/b] — my life has received a definite upgrade thanks to what they bring to the table.  This upgrade brought my lifestyle up to theirs.  But they can easily afford this lifestyle.

For instance, their large property is manicured by gardeners who come weekly; I mow my own grass and DIY the gardening/pruning/cleanups on my larger property.  They think they sharpen their pencil and are thrifty (much of the time they are), but they can and do spend more lavishly than I do when they feel like it and think that I am just being cheap in regards to grabbing restaurant checks.

My love language is acts of service — I love to feed people, fix broken machines, DIY car maintenance, etc. etc.  They normally treasure this, and it saves them thousands off dollars and hundreds of hours, but I think they would give it all up if it meant I could have the same spending horsepower that they have.[/quote]

Okay so it sounds like your partner has spent a lot on you and wants you to reciprocate on this?

I dunno sounds like that might be reasonable if they're funding you in other ways.  Especially if the eating out is less than what they spent on you.  They don't want to feel like they're always giving monetarily and even with the other stuff, it seems reasonable.[/quote]

OP here.  I’m sure they think they’re being reasonable and generous.  A lot of their generosity involves using travel points that they get as a business owner buying with a rewards card, whereas I always have to pony up cash.  But I don’t understand why they can’t embrace the idea that they have a lot more income/wealth than I do and that I need to use our joint account for entertainment to avoid spending beyond my means. [b] Married couples don’t normally have this tension, despite huge earning disparities between spouses, [/b]and we are going to be together forever, so why are we stuck in this bind?  I think it’s just become an ick factor for them, and they need to get over it if we are going to stay happy together.[/quote]

Lol.

You are wrong on this, OP. People get divorced over this. All the time. [/quote]

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