Reply to What do you think you did right to have a close relationship with your adult child?

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[quote=Anonymous]I always tried to be the "best mom" but when it sort of blew up (one of my kids got into legal trouble) I just stuck by them. The legal trouble was being caught at a private home teenage party raided by the police while he was attending a private school.

I just stuck by him. Took him by myself to the lawyer. I was the only one to show up to the diversion hearing at local court. His dad reamed him out and wouldn't show up to anything. I used my private funds to pay for everything. His dad didn't show up for HS or college graduation.

I was not a perfect mom at all, I realize that no that I'm not still trying to keep it together, but he is now in his 30s. Has a good relationship with his dad (which I always preserved) but now he lives in a culture overseas where filial piety is a super overwhelming norm, and I almost get uncomfortable sometimes with the way he is constantly checking up on me, he brings me flowers when he comes home to visit 2x a year and asks me what chores he can do to make my life easier.

Just be there. Don't hit them. Don't yell at them. Understand they don't always have the best judgment. I got lucky. [/quote]

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