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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I minored in biological anthropology in college. Reality is, human children are not meant to be raised solely by two people. We did not evolve with isolated nuclear families.

Human children are so time-intensive that we evolved to be raised by an entire village of people (alloparents). From what I remember, among hunter gatherers, the ratio of adults to children is around 4:1 and infants are held by up to 18 different people per hour.

Animals with extremely time-intensive parenting, such as birds, usually have a very short period of rearing. A baby bird is off on its own within 6-8 weeks.

Of course, there are trade-offs. Among animals, babies usually just follow their parents around while the parents go do normal life activities. However, this leads to extremely high death rates of 50-90%. Even among hunter-gatherers, childhood mortality is around 50%.

And having a village raise your child means they will alloparent in different ways from you, and you have very little say in it. There are reports of hunter-gatherers where the parents do virtually zero discipline and leave it up to other members of the group. This wouldn't fly among many parents today.

Unfortunately I don't think there's really a solution for families in the United States. We want to be independent and not live with multiple other people. Things like free daycare, free healthcare, a living wage, etc do help, though. But the reality is that life with kids is just intense. Add a capitalistic system where we're supposed to buy more things and bigger things, and nobody is happy.[/quote]

This is very fascinating. thank you for this! [/quote]

NP.  If you are interested in biological anthropology, you might like the book "Our Babies, Ourselves" by Meredith Small.

It's about some of the odd features of our culture regarding babies.  It is weird to keep them in nursery bedrooms separate from parents.   [b]That's why they cry.  [/b]They aren't evolved to feel safe so far from parents.  They have to get used to it/learn they are safe.  Americans also bathe their babies far more than a lot of cultures.

Time savers for me included buying a condo townhouse to avoid yard work, finding a reliable decent daycare center, and keeping the baby in my room until about 12 months.  I never found a village.[/quote]

Actually babies typically cry because they are hungry, tired, bored, constipated or sick.

Many babies do just fine sleeping in a separate room from their parents.

Parents are the best people to decide what is best for their child and their family within basic safety parameters. For many, that does not involve room sharing for 12 months. Studies have shown that infants older than 4 months who room-share may experience more night wakings and shorter overall sleep stretches. Families often choose to transition the baby to their own room between 4 and 12 months for better sleep quality for both parents and baby.

The guidance from the CDC and APA on room sharing is pretty dumb IMO, but not surprising from orgs that managed to increase nut allergies in children by putting out unsupported guidance.[/quote]

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