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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS just graduated with an expensive BS degree. Several good interviews but no offers. Younger sibling will be moving out this fall to go to college.

DS has been home and working past summers but this feels different because it is different.

What tips helped your family through this transition? Most important, at what point do we say “you have to get a job, any job, even if waiting tables?”[/quote]

We told our children that we would pay for college, and then they are on their own.

They always can live with us, and we will house and feed them, but we will not give them any money. If they want to go somewhere, they have to earn money. If they want a car, they have to pay for it. If they want clothing, they have to earn money to buy it.

I've seen so many parents ruin their children by giving them money, paying their rent, buying them expensive things like computers and cars.

We love our children intensely, but they need to support themselves. They know we will not give them money, not even for their phones. They want things, so they must find jobs to pay for them.

My children have had jobs since they were teenagers, so they understand the value of a paycheck. My DS got a job as a barista a week after graduating. It brought in enough money to pay for entertainment, and DS saved enough money so that when the time came, a few months later, when he and a couple friends wanted to rent an apartment, they had enough money for the deposit and first month's rent. DS found a "real" job a few months after that.

OTOH, A friend has been supporting her children for years. It's tragic. The kids are not launched, and it's very sad to see. The mom thinks she's doing the right thing, but it's not right. She pays their rent, tuition for grad school, for car, food, bills, etc. She loves them, but she needs to cut the cord so they can stand on their own two feet.

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