Reply to Give me your perspective. What is it like on the other side?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think I am aware of when people are left out, but I’m sure I have had a lot of oblivious moments. I really hate it when people are skipped like in your situation, so I would have spoken up. If someone is quiet in a group, I try to make eye contact and ask a question, or if the topic is not germane to them, I try to change the topic to be inclusive.

For example, I was talking to a few moms with kids who play a sport that my kid used to play. Another mom joined whose kid has never played the sport. The other moms got into the weeds on the topic and I waited for a break and changed it a topic we all had in common.

I will also say that almost everyone has had the experience of being left out in a group, and I’ve noticed that some people mentally check out and do not attempt to engage, while others will ask a question. If I’m the mom in the group that is left out, I’ll attempt to engage and even if the topic is out of my realm, I’m a curious person, so I’ll try to learn something from the conversation and ask questions. It might seem like others are excluding you, but you also have to consider the perspective of the other - they might perceive that you are retreating and seem disinterested. [/quote]

I am not typically overlooked and I am pretty conscious of these dynamics so try to call out when people may be left out. I think it happens the person seems so anxious or shy no one wants to them on the spot. It also helps to talk to people before the group - connect individually and let people hear you do proactively talk not just repspomd   [/quote]

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