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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're asking about the legalities of staying separated rather than divorced, ask a divorce lawyer. If you're asking what's best for your child, physically separate from the spouse so the child can respect you.[/quote]

What’s best for the child is having two loving parents, unfortunately one of them is deficient in that department due to their infidelity.   My kids didn’t have to hate their mom until they were old enough to forgive her.   I don’t think my kids would have known a personally happy version of me if we got divorced immediately either.   They do know that I loved them enough to be there and not let anyone else raise them while I was attempting to find personal happiness.[/quote]

We must have different values and morals. I think some things are unforgivable. [/quote]

Maybe.   I value my commitments strongly and fatherhood is the most important commitment I can make.   It is the foundation for their lives and I need to do everything possible to honor it.   I also felt similarly in marriage, but she was built different due to the divorce of her parents in middle school.  When I say I would endure anything for my kids, I proved it.[/quote]

You didn't teach your kids through your example how to respect yourself. How to set boundaries with another adult.[/quote]

Why would you assume that staying for the kids and not telling them about the infidelity as minors means there were no boundaries established?   Self respect is a difficult one, I respect my decision to prioritize them, yet I didn’t prioritize my personal needs and staying meant swallowing a lot of pride and treating the perpetrator of the most disrespectful action ever taken against me.[/quote]

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