Reply to mom wants to leave more $ to me than to my brother

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[quote=Anonymous]OP  here, after a break. THanks for all the input and thoughts, including about scenarios I hadn't imagined. I will talk to my mother, encourage it to be 50/50 and tell her that she also has to discuss it with my brother. She certainly does not want us having issues after she is gone. But she also disclosed some other things, which I had sensed and I think it makes things worse. She really, really does not like her DIL (neither do I, frankly) and finds her selfish and immature. My brother who is mid 40s, has been wanted to have kids for at least 5 years and instead he put wife, who spent the previous 5 years "finding her self"  through a top business school. But the deal was that she would be willing to have kids a few years after that, but she's now 36 and says that she doesn't want kids for another 3-4 years (which puts her at 40). My mother thinks that she  basically doesn't want kids, but doesn't want to come out and say that, and it will break my brother's heart, but by the time he realizes it he will be too old to have kids with someone else. Unfortunately I think she's probably right and that my SIL's wanting to put it off is more to do about not wanting kids. When she visits us, she essentially ignores our kids totally.

Ugh, what a mess. So in a way, my mom is using money to punish my SIL for not wanting kids and not being straight with my brother about it. Mom also mentioned that SIL will stand to inherit significantly more than either my brother or i, etc and I think my mom simply doesn't want her to have it.

The contributions to a college plan are a great idea, but most of the money is tied up a big house she lives in in a wealthy neighborhood--her income otherwise is modest. It's not like were talking vast sums here, although I'm guessing after taxes a little south of 2 million. She had wanted to leave 30% to my brother, 30% to me, 30 % to the grandkids and 10% to her stepdaughter and her stepdaughter's kids (my mom remarried in her late 40s--my stepsister is older than both my brother and I am, but we are all pretty close). [/quote]

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