Reply to I want all three, but can only afford to hire one of these professionals

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A therapist. A clean house and a thin waistline will not make you happy. Go to therapy, find actually happiness, then worry about the other two. [/quote]

Really?!?

Call me shallow, but a clean house absolutely makes me happy. Add in a thin waistline and I’m walking on air! [/quote]

Same. I'm not sure being thin makes me happy, but being chubby made me incredibly unhappy. Nothing can bring me to tears faster than a dress/pants that are too tight.

Clean house is amazing!! [/quote]

I'm the person who started this little mini-thread. Let me expand on my initial thought. Yes, if you're a well-functioning, generally content person and the house cleaner comes and then your house is clean, that can make you feel happy. I don't disagree with that. In fact, I have a house cleaner and I love when she comes! Money very well spent!

But - when you're talking about someone who is unhappy across the board, with everything, and is calling out two somewhat shallow, visually-based potential sources of happiness (basically, does my body look good? Does my house look good? - potentially social media driven, not very deep), while simultaneously saying she doesn't have the self motivation to fix anything herself, this tells me that something much bigger is going on. This isn't a person having a bad week who could use a pick-me-up. This is someone profoundly unhappy, who likely has some unexamined issues in her life that are just not working for her, and are dragging her whole life down.

So I think in this particular case, the causation is likely going the other way - she's unhappy, she's struggling, she's not functioning well, and so her house is a mess and she's out of shape. The way to fix that is not to clean the house and get in shape, it's to deal with the underlying issues. Someone with anxiety to the point that cleaning sounds too hard cause she might do it wrong, is not going to feel better with a clean house. Someone who is too depressed to connect well with other people is not going to feel better with a clean house. Someone who has a bad marriage isn't going to feel better with a clean house. Etc, etc, etc.

The root cause of her unhappiness is very unlikely to be a messy house or being out of shape. Treat the root cause, not the symptoms. [/quote]

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