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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. Just wow, pp.[b] I have never met a baby that couldn't be soothed in my arms[/b] and would prefer to cry himself to sleep alone on his back in a crib. [/quote]

Do you mean this part alone, as mom of 4 seems to, or are you putting these things together?

I, too, have found the sound of my babies' crying horrific and crazy-driving; I would do ANYTHING to help them stop! I actually had to lecture myself, over and over: crying is a healthy sign. It's how they communicate their needs. And that need is not always simply "pick me up, hold me." I hope the mom of 4 and PP were responding in the context of talking about CIO only, because sometimes it's totally normal for babies NOT to be soothed by having a loved one pick them up, murmur to them, rocking them, singing, whatever. The challenge is to figure out what they're trying to say. For my baby right now, for instance, often it is: put me down on my back, massage my tummy, and bicycle my legs because I have gas.

I guess I just want to say that wanting to respond is a natural, good response to a baby's crying, but that (a) not always being able to figure out what baby needs or soothe her is OK! you are not a Mom Failure if sometimes, no matter what, you can't seem to soothe your baby, and the sound of a baby's crying is SO VERY agitating that sometimes parents DO end up being abusive or getting to the end of their rope and being impatient because they think the worst thing is to leave the baby alone for a bit-- it SO isn't, and if you need a break from baby's crying, getting it can make you feel so much more refreshed and able to be loving and comforting again and don't let any competitive moms convince you otherwise; if they never had a baby who cried even in-arms, they never had a very typical newborn. Oh, and (b), reading the attachment parenting books often made me feel like babies who are held, worn, whatever NEVER cry, and like if your baby cries, it's a result of our horrible modern lifestyle-- cribs, strollers, pack and plays, bouncers, and so forth-- and the simple solution is just holding. Not so. Both of my babies frequently cried in my arms, or when I was wearing them-- which I did frequently-- and it was often because they were overtired or overstimulated, or had various normal baby aches and growing pains. I felt better soothing them through these things, but it didn't always stop their crying, and that often made me feel like a failure (partially because of the Competitive Moms Club; see above).

So...you do what you can to try to respond to the need that is causing your baby to cry. And when you feel yourself going TOO crazy, you step back, take a few deep breaths, b/c exhaustion can cause us to be a little bit crazy, too. Good luck, OP, no matter what you decide to do. I always try to picture my baby's smiling, laughing, flirting face in those crying moments, and remember that she is not unhappy with me or criticizing to me, she is just venting to me in a foreign language.[/quote]

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