Reply to Why its almost always women putting partner's career ahead of their own

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I prioritized my career, I got punished - complaints from boyfriends about how I wasn't spending enough time with them, and, in the case of my DH, he cheated on me repeatedly.  When I asked him what it would take for him to change, his response was that I needed to be with him 24/7 - he was dead serious.  That, of course, was the death knell of our relationship.  I left him, but he had his revenge by refusing to take any custody of our 2 kids, which basically ruined the career I had trained for and worked in because it required travel that wasn't compatible with being a single mom.

Many men believe that it is the woman's job to service them in many dimensions beyond sexual. When faced with having to do 2 jobs - paid work and all the unpaid work w/ home & parenting, many women reasonably choose to have just 1 job.

Given the era I grew up in - 70s/80s - I personally thought I would be able to have a career and kids too. I thought we were past all the sexism that kept women out of the work place.  Many women manage it.  But, in my case, a husband who was completely feckless in terms of home and parenting, combined with 2 kids who had their own serious illnesses finally made me give up my career (and my husband).  I work, but it's not what I would consider a "career". It's just a job that pays the bills (barely) and allows me to be there when my kids need me. [/quote]

THIS. This was true in my marriage - he wanted me to pay at least 50% of the bills but resented that I had to work to do so. His one responsibility was taking DD to a daycare that was literally right next to his office and he still complained nonstop about how “hard” it was. Then he ended up cheating.

Now that I’m dating again, I’ve found it’s the same with boyfriends. They expect me to drop everything to take a random 4 day weekend, to leave work for a lunch date, if I dare to catch up on some work in the evening they pout nonstop about how I’m not paying attention to them. The last guy I dated would constantly call me in the middle of the workday and want to talk on the phone for an hour.

I was stupid when I was younger and cut back on my career to please men, but not anymore. I’m teaching my daughters to do the same. [/quote]

Every man is the problem and not you. Yes, we believe you.[/quote]

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