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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She can see Ellen and not make it an in-your face situation with the other friends

Mostly though, I think she will navigate this. It will play-out based on what's important to her. I don't think she needs coaching. That will feel unnatural and you do not have a crystal ball about how this plays out

Your daughter will learn about herself, what she wants, what she values. All good things.[/quote]

+1 for the most part. My 5th grade DD is constantly going through this stuff (her class has something like 16 girls and 10 boys, ugh). So. Much. Drama. There's always some girl who committed some perceived offense and there are always girls who will form whatever alliance they can and ice her out. And then there is always a contingent that stays out of it, stays neutral, and/or tries to console the exile of the day (or hour). All of the girls involved in these antics seem to rotate among the various roles.

I can't even begin to keep track of what happened on any given day, so I just tell my DD this: 
One- Do not engage! Just stay out of it! (This is apparently unrealistic.)
Two- Always choose kindness, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself or for someone else who's being unfairly targeted/harassed/bullied. Don't be mean; be fair and firm. 
Three- When someone shows you who they are, believe them -- pay attention to actions, not words. Be mindful of those you know you can't trust.

She doesn't always listen and she still gets caught up in the drama sometimes, but it's gotten better. I've only gotten involved when there was truly egregious bullying behavior, and that was last year with some boys in her class. Outside of that, though, I listen and I give her guidance and most of all I try to empower her and instill resilience. I can't fight all her battles for her. She has to learn the social skills to navigate school...and life. [/quote]

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