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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Only to share that Larlo will be absent, or arrange to pick up make up work, that kind of thing. I have never emailed about conflicts with other kids or someone being mean to Larlo, or Larlo being nervous about X project. I am giving him space to film figure those things out, though I do talk with him at home about them. Trying not to be a smothering parent and it is hard. [/quote]

It's hard to know when the conflicts between kids escalate to needing to loop the teacher in. I tend to take a hands off approach generally because (1) I trust the teachers, generally, and (2) I do want my kid to develop skills for handling these things on their own.

But sometimes things get more serious and it can be hard to know where the line is. Like I don't want to be dragging the teacher into some playground skirmish that the kids can resolve on their own, but I also don't want to ignore a problem the kids are NOT resolving until it gets really bad. It's easy to know when an academic concern needs attention (grades dip, scores are concerning, kid is clearly struggling with homework or keeping up in class). It's much, much harder to know when social or behavioral issues merit a conversation with the teacher and I wish there were better guidelines.[/quote]

This is so kid dependent and there are so many different scenarios that I’m not sure we can make any guidelines. My kid shares a lot with me so I am able to keep track of things that way, and then I generally wait until the fall conference in October. I ask “How is Sam doing socially? Do you notice he has been particularly close with any kids or…” and that’s the time the teacher usually comes and shares any concerns. Usually our info aligns, but if I have additional concerns I share them and ask the teacher to keep an eye.

Starting in 1st or 2nd we also talked about kid sized problems vs things you bring to a teacher. As the kids get older I think there are certain things you need to encourage kid to let roll of his back rather than be labeled a tattletale. Sad but true. There are always full grown adults who are jerks, and our kids will have to deal with them when they become adults too. [/quote]

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