Reply to I hate everything about having a child with special needs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]im always in the minority on this board with this but i found the welcome to holland thing v helpful.  YMMV.[/quote]

Sure, except it’s not Holland. I booked a beach resort with waves and palm trees and got Times Square in the city that never sleeps with blaring sirens everywhere. My nerves are shot, I’m always ON and I have a pounding headache. [/quote]

I feel like the holland thing is a good metaphor for regular parenting.  I expected my kids would want to do X with me, I planned to share Y with them but then it turns out they hate x and y and so I had to get into Z instead.  But the SN parenting sometimes feels more llle you got sent to a war zone — someplace that no one would voluntarily pick and which is filled with high stakes hazards and yeah maybe the country had some great underlying qualities if you could find a quiet moment when the bombs aren’t falling to explore those.

I think one thing that is hard about SN parenting and making connections is that the journey is so different for each of us.  (Remember Tolstoy —- all happy families are similar, but unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way).  My kid has made so much progress over almost 20 years —- but I know that’s not in the cards for everyone.  The war zone metaphor does work well because some places are just in perpetual conflict, whereas others move to a place that is more likeable, and that change can be gradual or come in fits and starts.  Everyone’s on a different journey.

OP, I hope we’ve validated your feelings and given you some confort.  It is hard.[/quote]

Very well put. Thank you. Not OP[/quote]

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