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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you all handle an insensitive partner who refuses to take responsibility? My boyfriend will say or do things that appear to be without any thought to my feelings and then when I point them out accuse me of picking a fight.

For example, a couple months ago I asked if he was in town to come to a friend's party with me. He said yes. Then a day later says "Oh, when's Jane's birthday party? I forgot to tell you I'm going to John's lake house with him on the 24th." I told him, "It's the 25th and I already RSVP'd when you said you were free that weekend, but I guess it's not happening which is fine. Moving forward, could you please be more organized? This is the third or fourth time I've RSVP'd us for something and you tell me afterwards you can't come." Immediately he gets agitated and accuses me of picking a fight (this is always his verbiage, that I'm "picking a fight"), says he has a lot going on at work and do I have any idea how stressed he is, and also I'm always late for everything, do I know how annoying THAT is?

This thread was inspired by him making a comment that could be misconstrued as insensitive about my body and when I said it hurt my feelings he went, "I'm not doing this today, you're picking a fight." Huh? If you didn't mean it, just say you didn't mean it. Otherwise, what am I supposed to think?

These are just two examples bc if I gave every one we'd be here all day.

I get that I'm not a perfect person but it's super frustrating that, for example, if I'm late to something, I'll say "Sorry I'm late" even without him saying anything, but if I point something out, I'm accused of picking a fight. By his logic, if he points out me being late, is that picking a fight?

I'm just frustrated and not sure what to say to him to make him realize that trying to ask your partner to fix something isn't picking a fight. [/quote]

You two aren't compatible. For what it's worth, he sounds like a jerk, but you sound pretty annoying. I just think you're not a good match. You need someone who is going to be receptive to what you have to say (and the way you say it) and he needs someone who doesn't hold him responsible for anything. [/quote]

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