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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is ridiculous. I got married in DC a few years ago, it was lovely and cost around $35K total. My bridesmaids had to purchase a $100 dress, pay for any alternations, and buy nude shoes (if they did not already have them). I had a suite at the hotel where we gathered the morning of and I paid for makeup, 3 of the 4 were local and stayed in their own homes during the wedding weekend. My bachelorette party was a one-night 'staycation' at an AirBnb, dinner and drinks out, and brunch the next day. It was so fun and IMO not excessive. Weddings have gotten so out of hand. I'm glad I have a smaller circle of friends and to date have only been asked to be in one wedding, which was low key due to it being during covid. [/quote]

How is this different than the OP? [/quote]

+1. And I think this PP demonstrates one of the central problems: self-awareness. Most people think that because they didn't have a bachelorette weekend in Turks and Caicos and a black tie wedding at Oheka Castle that they weren't [i]that[/i] bride.

But the reality is that many brides want a nice wedding, are performing a certain social and class-based script, and just don't realize it in the moment because wedding expectations have changed so much. I think that (the expectations) is largely a function of people getting married when they are older and have more money.

Looking back, I thought I was the reasonable bride, but I really wasn't. Because it was my wedding and I was excited and I was only comparing up and not down.

[/quote]

Yes!  I agree with you that this is normal and people want to follow a certain script for their weddings, and every bride thinks she is being so cool and low key.

Saying that you *only* asked your bridesmaids to buy a $100 dress plus alterations, shoes, and an overnight bachelorette party that easily cost each person $300-400 is kind of crazy. 
 
And I honestly don’t see how it’s much different than someone asking their bridesmaids to buy a $500 dress including shows and alterations and pay $150 for a bachelorette party.

[/quote]

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