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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I experienced this at a TT girls school - starting in third grade my daughter knew whose parents were the big donors to the school and that those kids didn’t get into trouble if they misbehaved. In middle school, girls were getting extra time on standardized test and accommodations because of who their parents were. None of them were actually neurodivergent but were given twice the time for their ERBs with a doctor’s notes while kids who weren’t rich or powerful couldn’t get it WITH a doctor’s note. We got sick of it and left. Frankly, I didn’t trust them with my kid’s college exmissions. Talk to parents at these schools and ask what their kid reports. The thing I learned is that no one knows the unwritten rules of these places better than the kids who are in them, and the middle and upper parents know things the lower school parents don’t. [/quote]

As a parent beginning the process of applying to private schools now, these types of stories are really discouraging.  We're also ORMs without a hook, getting in already seems so daunting and then dealing with this stuff once you're in? what a shitshow.

We don't want to move to the suburbs, but I'm keeping an eye out for opportunities in my home country and Europe, where this kind of stuff is pretty rare. [/quote]

Why do you want private school? Rarefied network, smaller classes, resources, develop critical thinking skills? Then go for it

Ivy League or Ivy+ admission? Not a good reason to attend. Better off being top of a T2 private or going to a Bx Sci or Stuy and killing it (merit based).

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Smaller class sizes and a dislike of the public school curriculum, mostly. I don't really care about college admissions or "networks". But being a minority and then also dealing with this kind of unfairness is a lot for a kid to deal with. There's someone in another thread shitting all over suburban public school kids and their lack of erudition compared to Manhattan's TT elite. I worry about what we're putting ourselves and our kids through with this type of toxicity, if that's what "TT" schools are like.[/quote]

You will want to avoid UES altogether. A part of raising a kid in UES is handling the social pressure and navigating the competitive environment. To be honest, placing my child in a competitive environment is one of the best gift I can give them to challenge themselves. As a parent it is my responsibility to put them in a position to succeed (provide as much support and guidance). Life isn’t always going to be easy. In my opinion, it is unfair if you have your child coast through school while expecting them to turn it on at high school.

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