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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was ghosted by a difficult friend (which it took me a long time to even figure out because I give a lot of grace and assume the best of people . . . someone had to clue me in). It was mysterious, and of course unwarranted . . . I put up with YOU, how dare you reject ME?

But obviously if that was the dynamic, what was the point of this friendship to begin with.[/quote]

So close...

The answer for both PP and OP is "because the relationship dynamic you're complaining about met a need or served a purpose for you", most likely a need to feel like an authority, stronger than someone else, smarter, better-off, charitable, etc.

And that's co-dependent behavior, whether the other party is an addict or not. CODA is the right place to explore this.[/quote]

Ding ding.

I also think one of the reasons OP (and this PP) felt "miffed" when the "difficult" friend ended the friendship is that it means that person may have identified the dysfunction and put an end to it first. Which means the difficult friend may actually be more functional at this point. And if your entire friendship is premised on being the functional person who "helps" the difficult friend, that can be very hard to take.[/quote]

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