Reply to Do you have an age cut off on supporting adult kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to mention some very small stuff. Small stuff but it mattered to me. For me it was the cell phone plan. Yes I know a family plan is cheapest for everyone but I didn't want us all to be enmeshed. I started with that, off the cell phone plan and off our car insurance. Those were in their name in college. BUT I provided them with the money, so they had the money to pay their bills for those things. This until the end of college. Since graduating college, I don't know what cell and car insurance plans they have. They've likely switched plans, switched companies. Who knows, not my business. [/quote]

See that's one thing I don't care about because it's so cheap. I worry more about big support. Whoever said it's a case by case basis thing is obviously right. In our case we had to support in-laws financially, and have basically been THE responsible people in our families forever so had to also help with dh's grandparents. My parents don't need financially help but take a lot for granted like extremely expensive visits to them and guilt us when we don't go. Nobody really ever considers that they put big costs on us but never help us out in ANY way. It's like generosity (don't mean just monetary) and consideration skipped a generation. So the idea of possibly having to help in-laws in old age AND supporting our kids long term too feels absolutely soul crushing. I worry about it a lot. At what point do we get to exist for ourselves only, financially speaking? I want to be a very supportive mother of adult kids but would prefer to be generous with time and occasional gifts than ongoing support. We simply can't really afford to do all of it the way some wealthy people in this thread do.[/quote]

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