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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is a lot easier to tpit up.with someone's 'quirks' for a weekend or a holiday as a guest in their life than it is to commit to living with those same 'quirks' forever. You like the version of your sister's husband that she fell in love with. If you had to live with him indefinitely and be his support system, you might change your mind too. [/quote]
Also true

Op is getting the aspie spouse masking in spurts during occasional social gatherings. Thats the total opposite of him masking at work all day, coming home, crashing, disappearing, stonewalling or exploding on his family from 6-9pm bc he can’t handle adult life.  [/quote]

DP. I think my father was probably an aspie. He would disappear into his room every night after dinner, discourage my mom from having people over except for us, make everyone stick to his schedule and standards even when retired, etc. If it wasn't for us, my mother would have been very lonely. It undoubtably led to her being enmeshed with us and dealing poorly with us leaving as young adults. Her resentment built until she was openly hostile to him in their later years. I had two siblings that could have used more support with their undiagnosed special needs but he refused to acknowledge that we were anything less than above average/perfect. I have an adult child with severe nonverbal autism. My DH has always been all-in and that is how our family has survived intact. OP's sister is entirely justified in her decision to divorce to keep her life manageable. [/quote]

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