Reply to s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?

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Reply to "s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?"

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[quote=Anonymous]When my in-laws set up a family trust, each kid got three shares.  When the kid married, one of the shares went to the spouse.  When the kid had children of their own, one of the two remaining shares went to be split among the children.

I suppose in theory that feels more equal than what OP describes, but I have to tell you I have always viewed the trust as my husband's money that he should have a huge say in.

The same thing is true whenever his grandfather sent us checks over the years (nothing major - 5 or 10K here or there a few times).  I proposed some ideas, but it was really up to him.  Same thing when his parents send us checks every once in awhile (also nothing major).  I defer to him regardless of whether one or both names are on the check.

This had nothing to do with being 'the little wife" and everything to do with knowing it was his family business.  There have been problems in the past with one of DH's aunts (by marriage, not a blood relative) creating a big mess with a family trust, so I stay very clear of any involvement or any suggestion I am entitled to anything, even if I in fact have a share (which I do).  The whole "it's about blood" thing has been made abundantly clear, and his grandfather has never, for example, asked a non-blood relative to join his foundation board even though some of us have better skill sets for that than the blood relatives.  Objectively, it might be a mistake, but at the end of the day it's a family foundation, so the family should run it.

I would not press the point, OP.  All you are likely to do is create an issue where there doesn't need to be one.  Your DH is probably still getting used to the idea of being married and meshing everything.  This isn't the time to take a stand.  He'll come around at some point.  Don't turn into Aunt Susan![/quote]

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