Reply to 3rd grade daughter dropped by former bestie

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back - again with lots of gratitude. I used to live in DC and used this forum quite frequently when I was there, but it’s been a few years as I moved to the Midwest. I knew I would get a variety of perspectives here and I’m glad I posted! I know my original post wasn’t edited well and I tried to keep it brief so details and nuance were a bit lost so I’m appreciative of those who pointed out those holes. It’s important!

A little more context is in first grade, L’s mom asked for a playdate and I was like oh no! I can’t! Dd is in gymnastics tonight but maybe later! That turned into her asking me about gymnastics and signing L up for the same class. Same thing with soccer. So we grew from there and the signing up for the same classes seemed so mutual. And then I kind of slowly accumulated more of the driving responsibilities because my job is more flexible. And because the parents kept missing sign ups for things like daddy daughter dance, girls on the run, end of year stuff, etc. I just kind of reminded them about sign up dates and things coming up. So I don’t thinkkkkk too pushy on our part (including my dd since I was around a lot of their after school interactions - I definitely would have counseled her out of any obsessive behavior). Like I said they’re both onlies and both young for their grade so they had the usual used-to-getting-their-way-at-home thing, but I didn’t notice anything aggressive about their interactions, honestly.

I’m also appreciative of the feedback about the big birthday party and how it’s NOT WEIRD to do that! I think I talked her into an all the girls in the class thing at her gymnastics studio (including L - we’ll see, eh?).

I’m also trying to be careful about how I talk about the situation. Thanks all for your feedback there, as well! It’s a tough balance for sure and — like many of you pointed out — we’ve got a long road ahead of us in this regard (and many others, I’m sure!). [/quote]

You said that L stopped hanging out with your DD at the beginning of this school year. Did the ghosting by the other family happen then or more recently? Also, why is this coming up now if the falling out happened so many months ago? You said you witnessed L saying "go away" to your daughter at school -- what was the context?

I am still honestly a little confused about this. [/quote]

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