Reply to We may end up estranged from my parents

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, It’s worth thinking about your childhood vs how they are now as elderly people. My parents were not perfect and there is some trauma but I know they were trying in their own way when they raised us.

As they have aged, they sound very similar to your parents and it keeps getting worse. But they were never this bad back in the day. So I give them some grace and like a PP said, I don’t want my sibling to have to do all the work in the later years. I set boundaries, ignore a lot of what they say, immediately stop conversations or leave when things get crazy. The kids and I discuss when they say problematic things.

I also have a lot of mental distance. The things that bothered me before no longer do.

I think about my kids as they get older. I don’t know if they will understand the nuances and I don’t want them to feel like they can cut me off for not major reasons (not saying your reasons aren’t major, just that if I dig deep my own with my parents aren’t).

Only you can decide what is appropriate, whether they deserve to be cut off or not, and how you feel about it (beyond that it’s easier not to). [/quote]

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