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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - thanks for the above. And yes she will refuse assisted living or any kind of group home. Likely going to buy apt in nyc near us shortly. Care manager is good idea. But it’s mainly how to provide company for a person who refuses to make friends and refuses to move into care facility, when the time comes. I cannot be the answer to that is my concern [/quote]

A care manager doesn’t have to be a certified one. Hire her a friend, give an ultimatum that this is her contact person for all her requests. Ask the person to suggest activities. Pay the person well but keep an eye on them so that there’s no scamming or anything like that. 
Ideally this person will later coordinate care. Use mother’s money to hire the person. [/quote]

Yes, it should be a professional. Our care manager had contacts for every type of home-based service (OT/OT/ST, aides, doctor who does house calls, hospital bed and wheel chair rental, medical transport.) She could arrange for anything as needed and she also kept track of all medical information.

If you do assisted living you can hire a CM to manage whatever is needed for emergencies. Then you show up when you need to and you don't reinforce the codependency.

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