Reply to I hate hosting families with 3 or more kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends on the ages and specific families and kids/parents, obviously, but I find that parents of 3+ young-ish kids (say, elementary and under) think it's cool/fine to just declare defeat on any standards of control or manners in public settings or others' homes in the name of their many children.  Like they wear their family size as a badge of honor or status symbol and it's a get out of jail free card for poor behavior and it's on the rest of us for "only" having 1 or 2 kids and managing them reasonably well.

Good for them and I'm sure they'll find their people (likely with the other bigger-family chaos crews), but if they're destroying my house and causing chaos while their peers are within bounds, they may not be on the next invite.  [/quote]

As a parent of 3 kids who understands it might be chaotic to host three kids in your home, this sounds a lot like “us vs them rhetoric.” Nobody is having three kids to wear it as a badge of honor. I feel like smaller families take larger ones as a personal affront. Most people with 3  kids have three kids because they want their kids to have multiple siblings and they enjoy having a larger family. Or they had accidents. I can only speak for myself, but I was willing to weigh the short term challenges of having three small kids out in public vs what I considered the longer term benefits of having 3 kids. I get that it’s a lot to invite a family over with 3 young kids. So don’t. It’s fine. We’re happy to host. If you don’t want to be our people because you judge our choice to have one additional child despite being outnumbered (and I think it’s debatable whether having one dedicated adult to one child is best for them long term anyway) then that’s fine too. I wouldn’t rule out a friendship with someone solely based on the number of children they have. [/quote]

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