Reply to Would you tell dd to call less?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Would you tell dd to call less?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t tell her to call less.  They would be crushing to someone who’s struggling.  But it’s okay to tell her you have to go after a few minutes or not pickup sometimes.  But I also think you should reframe your conversations. It sounds like you’re frustrated she’s not following your advice.  She knows everything you’re telling her but she’s still struggling.  She’s going to have to work it out on her own.  Try to shift your focus away from trying to solve her problem.  [/quote]

I am definitely frustrated bc she does not want to work it out on her own and seeks advice from us but then complains. So we used to give more advice, and now we keep it to a minimum and she’s still not doing things. To address what someone else said it’s be fine if she did not mind having no big social life but she is the one bringing up the fact that she wants one. We redirect to positive topics when she calls, and we do ask about classes and other things of course.

She expects us to entertain and at some point sometimes we run out of things to say, which she gets annoyed about like she wants long calls as distraction. Today for instance she told us she’s not going to some event after all, after a girl reached out to her about it. Then she complained about work and after a few minutes of chit chat about her classes today and pets at home we had no new things to say because we already talked about books and shows yesterday and I’ve done nothing but work today and same with dh. So she hung up and I could tell she was miffed about the event thing and the call being just 20 mins. Then we felt defeated and like the call made things worse and now I can’t sleep bc I feel we are caught in this bad spiral. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics