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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "Moving - how harmful?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I got a good job there and they would obviously go to an international school so I don't quite see the problem. She will make new friends and after she graduates she can do whatever she wants and live wherever she wants. My husband and I are so done with her attitude because she's insulting us and yelling at us and sleeping over at friends houses on school nights without even asking us. We just don't engage with her anymore. This won't traumatize her right? I mean people move all the time and adjust. Just don't know how we will get her on a plane...[/quote] I know it's what you don't want to hear, but it might. This is a sensitive time for kids. I know of several for whom this kind of move was devastating and life changing. I also know of kids who did this and were fine, but their initial reactions were not like those you are describing. If this was a possibility, you should have been working towards setting expectations and building skills and connections for years beforehand. Springing this on her now was poor planning. [/quote] Yeah I understand but it's too late now. What do we do? We are at our wits end with her. [/quote] Keep your job here/get a different job here. What happened to your old job?[/quote] nothing happened to the old job. New job is just better paying. [/quote] This has to be fake. Who is so flippant about such a big change for their kids? [/quote] How can you be surprised by this? Lots of parents are like this. I have seen people behave worse than this with regards to moves or divorces when their kids get upset at the news. I know one family with two kids who responded similar to OP's to their parents getting divorced -- younger kid was diplomatic and not emotional about it, older kid was very upset and refused to accept it. One parent, like OP, viewed this as one kid being "good" and the other kid being "bad," instead of thinking critically about why the older child was so much more upset. The clear expectation for the kids was that it was their job to gracefully handle whatever choices their parents made that would impact their lives, and that strong negative emotions would not be tolerated. They do not have great relationships now.[/quote]
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