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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Post on Special Needs forum.   Natural Consequences approach doesn’t fit with ADHD brain.  [/quote]

Eyeroll. Yes it does. What is your genius plan for when this kid becomes an adult with "ADHD brain"? Just tell their boss consequences don't fit?

But more importantly, a mile is a reasonable distance for a teenager to walk for any reason or just as part of the daily routine. It isn't harmful, it's beneficial to them. So there's no reason for OP to be late to work to spare her kid this healthy walk. [/quote]

Yes, parents of ADHD kids need to be VERY careful with the "it's not your fault, it's just your brain" approach to ADHD. It's your brain AND also it's your responsibility.

This is how you wind up with adults who do things like lie and procrastinate at work or in their important relationships, and then when it causes negative impacts on others, say "well you can't be mad because it's my ADHD." Actually, it's your ADHD and also people can and will be mad. Everybody has problems and you need to figure out how to deal with this one. Scapegoating your neurological disorder is not a longterm solution.

Agree with others that walking to school is both a natural consequence and a perfectly good work around for missing the bus. Rescuing him by driving him is not goign to help him fix it in the future, and it's going to be useless in a few years when he's no longer living at home and has to get to college classes or a job on time without the option of you driving him.

It's important that kids with neurological differences not be shamed for those differences, but that doesn't mean they don't need to take responsibility for figuring out how to be functional. You can help them find the solutions and provide supports (which it sounds like OP has done) but at the end of the day they have to be responsible for it. It's not an excuse. It's only an explanation.[/quote]

I am a parent of a child with severe ADHD who also has anxiety and other mental health issues.  I agree with you.  But, I also think that as parents, we need to be sure we've done what it takes to ensure our kids have the tools to be successful.  And we need to realize that there is a lot of trial and error in figuring out what is going to make them successful, with failure happening in the process.  I'm not opposed to having a kid walk to school if they miss the bus if it's an occasional thing.  If it's a regular thing, then there is a question of whether the parents provided the tools.  And if you're requiring that they walk to school before they have demonstrated proficiency with performing the skill (here, getting out the door in time in the morning), then it feels an awful lot like punishment for not performing a skill that they don't yet have.[/quote]

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