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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it. She feels better complaining to us than others.
But she isn't willing to do things she complains about and I have a hard time listening over and over to easily fixible problems. (e.g., "I only have 2 friends" but she is unwilling to leave her room).
We have offered all the resources, SSRIs, therapy, etc. and while she has taken us up on them, it's only helped so much. 
It's draining. 
I am sure this makes me a bad mother in many peoples' eyes, but I can't do it every day. Constant calls in the middle of the workday and refusal to get off the phone. 
Again, I know she's suffering, so I feel like $hit but I also can't just sit there listening to everything she can't do or doesn't like but won't take action on over and over. I want to validate her, and I know she needs us, but I need some boundaries and yet feel guilty erecting them.
 [/quote]

Bland empathy is your friend.
I'm sorry you feel you don't have friends. I'm going to the library, would you like to come? No? See you later.

There, you've just been empathetic, offering a way to get her out of her room, and then left it to her to fix. You cannot fix her. It is her decision to stay in her room.

I'd strongly encourage you to up her rent so she has a reason to get out to get a job (and meet people and problem solve along the way).

I will say making friend isn't easy. I will also ask - how did she learn that complaining and doing nothing is an OK strategy? Think about that, look at your own behavior, and adjust as needed.
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