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[quote=Anonymous]e been through something very similar with my daughter, so I really feel for you. She also has ADHD and went through a long phase of refusing her medication. For her, it wasn’t about growth concerns—it was more that she didn’t feel like herself on it—but the resistance and arguments sound very familiar.

When she does take her medication, the difference is honestly night and day. Her behavior is more manageable, and she can focus so much better. She actually took it consistently from 2nd through 8th grade with no issues, even on most weekends, and during that time she stayed pretty steady—mostly Bs and Cs, with only occasional trouble at school.

I also want to add—kids really don’t care as much as they think about who is medicated. And honestly, if anyone does make fun of him for it, that says more about them than anything else. It’s 2026—mental health and ADHD are so much more understood now. I’m pretty sure my daughter’s friends know she has ADHD and takes medication, and she’s never been bullied over it.

Things really shifted in high school when she started refusing it. Freshman year, she went on and off, and it showed—she failed three classes first semester. When she took it more regularly second semester, she improved but still had to go to summer school. Sophomore year was the hardest—more behavior issues, multiple referrals, even a suspension, and she failed several classes again.

Junior year was a little better as she started taking it more often, but it was still inconsistent. Now as a senior, she’s beginning to understand that she needs to pass to graduate, and she’s taking it most days. It’s still not perfect, but there’s definitely improvement when she uses it.

One thing you might consider—would he be open to a compromise, like only taking it on school days? Sometimes that feels more manageable to them and gives them a sense of control.

Also, since he’s on a low dose of Ritalin (10mg), you could ask the doctor whether it’s even lasting through the full school day or if a second dose is sometimes needed. My daughter takes Concerta 54mg, which lasts most of the day, and her doctor mentioned adding a small afternoon Ritalin dose if needed—but for her, the Concerta usually lasts long enough.

I know how exhausting it is—the constant tension, the arguments, the worry about their future. What helped a little over time was stepping back from making it a power struggle and letting natural consequences speak louder. It took a long time, but maturity has started to kick in.

You’re absolutely on the right track with how you’re talking about it—as a tool, not a punishment. That framing really matters. If anything, I’d just say try to keep the door open and avoid turning it into a battle of control, even though that’s incredibly hard.

You’re not alone in this—this is such a tough stage, especially with ADHD. I hope it gets easier for you soon.                                                My daughter is set to graduate on May 28—God willing she passes her math class. It’s been a long journey, and honestly, once they graduate, you deserve to celebrate too because it is not easy getting there.

I know for some of our kids, just passing—even with a D—is something to be proud of. It takes a lot more effort than people realize.

Good luck to you. I really hope things get easier—it’s a tough road, but there is light at the end of it.

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