Reply to How much do grades and test scores matter to you?

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[quote=Anonymous]I care about grades and test scores. It’s how I was raised and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Generally my kids do well in school and standardized tests. I expect them to give their best effort. They also expect that of themselves and go above and beyond without needing prodding. I think this mindset is important for the workplace. I focus more on growth too. If they do miss something on a test or assignment, we discuss why it happened. Most of the time, it’s because they made a careless mistake, either didn’t read the question carefully or didn’t double check their work. I encourage studying for tests and try to actively teach them study habits and methods. They have definitely learned that waiting until the last minute or not making time to study sometimes doesn’t result in good scores. I’d rather they learn to build the skills now when the stakes are low. And I want them to learn to fail and recover early. So they have good habits when grades and test scores have a bigger impact on their future. There’s a delicate balance. I don’t want to push too hard where my kid is no longer enjoying school. Thankfully my kids love to learn.

I think most parents I know push in some area whether it’s academics, sports or another talent especially when they observe their child’s potential and interests. It just depends on what their particular family values are. My kids’ talent lie in academics not as much in other areas. While they participate in many sports, they aren’t the star athletes. They’re not naturally musically gifted. Both sports and music take more effort for them. I just expect them to try to their best in those and I want them to have fun. I don’t expect excellence.

Above all, I want my kids to be “good neighbors” and focus on kindness and generosity. So although our family values academics, my kids are not competitive with their classmates. They actively try to help their classmates. I think pushing too hard in academics does sometimes lead to competitiveness with peers.[/quote]

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