Reply to Does it bother you to see families super underdressed at church?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t care one bit.  No one needs to be dressed up to attend church.[/quote]

Why did everyone dress up for church in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s? You don't think that looked much nicer? You don't admire a random good looking family wearing their Sunday best if you see one on a Sunday afternoon? Come on, we all do.

This erosion of effort and appearance and coming to church in casual clothes seems to be a relatively new phenomenon.[/quote]

I can say this, my current church has a much higher attendance of teens since they can dress comfortably.  Just because things were done in the past doesn’t make a change bad.  There will always be those who dress up. Mind your own business.[/quote]

Back in the 90s my parents used to fight my brother every weekend to get him dressed for church.  It made everything super stressful and definitely didn't turn my brother into a church goer.[/quote]

I'd bet anything the children who are allowed to come to church like slobs are exponentially more likely to cease church attendance when they can (age 18, college, moving out of the house). [b]If their parents never took the church seriously, why would they? [/b]It doesn't take money to be tidy, shave, brush hair, put on a collared shirt, tuck your shirt in, and[b] iron your slacks[/b].[/quote]

Interesting perspective -- that there is some correlation between dress and "taking the church seriously." Completely inaccurate in my experience.

We have a terrible time getting people to do the work that needs to be done to keep our church up and running. The grounds don't maintain themselves, the flowers don't magically appear on the altar, people need to actually prepare and serve the monthly shelter meal our church is responsible for and that our priest references all the time as something that our church does in the community. And you know who is not signing up to do these things? Those dressed-up families. They show up, take advantage of the Sunday School they don't volunteer to help with, get seen at church and coffee hour (that they didn't contribute anything to) and go home. That isn't full membership in a church community; but they will never understand that, and we aren't going to kick them out. When it's brought up in leadership meanings our Priest just shakes his head and then says "Some people just need church as a respite." But they aren't using it as respite.

Also the reference to ironing (see the other thread, today, lol) and "slacks" leads me to believe this PP's mores belong to the 20th century, not the 21st. [/quote]

I have to admit that we are a freeloading family, although we do dress up slightly. We are freeloading because DH doesn’t support or attend church at all and so I’m doing it solo with young children. I do sometimes do food for coffee hour and donate regularly. Is that OK?[/quote]

I'm not the PP.  I think that life goes through seasons.  You are welcome in our church in any season of your life.  Right now, your kids are young and getting them there and keeping track of them may be what you can do.  Perhaps in a future you'll be able to do something different.  Maybe your kids will want to contribute by singing in the choir, or serving at the altar.  Maybe you and your teenagers will volunteer together to help serve the meal for the homeless.  Maybe once your kids are old enough to stay home alone, you'll go to the early service to help in the nursery, and then go home and pick up your kids for church.

Or maybe not.  If you never come to the point where you can contribute more, then you'll still be very welcome.  However, it would be preferable if, when you do come, you don't judge the people who do do a lot because of their shoes, or the ironing status of their slacks.[/quote]

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