Reply to In a marriage, how many years do you expect to be sexually active?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not all men need help after 40 - is this being written by bots or teens?[/quote]

The American Medical Association estimates rates of erectile dysfunction to be just 5-10% of men before age 40, but then it jumps to 40% of all men in their 40s and increases by 10% with each decade. So about half of men in their 50s have ED, 60% of men in their 60s.

Now, that still leaves 30% or more of men who don't have ED even into their 60s. So if that's you, it might seem normal. But the truth is that by 50, men are 50/50 on whether it impacts them, and it becomes more and more common after that.

Also these are just estimates -- many men simply never seek treatment for ED. My DH has experienced periodic issues of the last 5 years and has never discussed it with a doctor. He feels it's largely due to drinking, and if he doesn't drink or drinks less, it's not an issue. I think he should get it checked out for other reason (potential sign of prostate issues) but he hates doctors and it's his body. I'm not upset about the ED because I have declining libido from perimenopause anyway so I'm not mad about our current sex frequency. We are late 40s and I'd say our situation is pretty typical among our peers, based on what friends have shared with me.

The happiest marriages I know at this age, it doesn't seem to have a ton to do with sex. It's about personality compatibility, being on the same page regarding parenting, being able to minimize work and financial stress so it doesn't poison the marriage, and mutual respect. Some couples may be having slightly more or slightly less sex. I know people with medical and mental health issues who I would not be surprised to learn don't have sex at all but their marriages still seem strong. It just seems like as you age, sex gets backburnered for both a lot of people, men and women. Not that it's totally irrelevant, just that it's far from the most important thing in their relationship.[/quote]

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