Reply to S/O: ‘The DIL is in the busiest chapter of her life; you have nothing to do’

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Reply to "S/O: ‘The DIL is in the busiest chapter of her life; you have nothing to do’"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read this line in the other post about the DIL who left when she saw her ILs in the driveway, and I honestly teared up out of nowhere. This so succinctly sums up the pressure I feel from both my own parents and my husband’s parents.

I do. So. Much. And it’s never enough. I am constantly working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, planning fun things for my family to do together, making sure kids have everything they need for school, activities, birthday parties, etc. I am always busy and I very rarely make time for myself.

And yes, DH and I think of and connect with and invite and include our parents. A lot. We do a lot for them.

But it’s never enough. They’re always asking, wheedling, whining, demanding more. I am stretched so thin. Even when I’m hosting my parents and throwing my cousin a baby shower, it’s this that this that what about this that can we do can we have. And they have NOTHING to do! Same with my ILs, they do nothing but play Wordle, go to church once a week, and do nothing. When they visit, they don’t lift a single finger and instead just wheedle and whine about wanting more time, can we do this, what about that.

“The DIL is in the busiest chapter of hr life; you have nothing to do.” Why don’t grandparents get this?!?![/quote]

Why can't your mom throw the baby shower instead of you? Since they have nothing to do cant they plan some of the fun family activities instead of you?
My MIL was always thinking of group family activities. Those were very nice breaks from our nuclear family routine. I didn't understand it then but I am grateful now for her modeling this behavior.[/quote]

Moms never seem to plan the showers these days. I plan at least one shower a year and dealing with the boomers is the hardest part. They want to invite ALL their friends, but really I’m just planning the friends shower. I don’t have room for 75 at my house (30 is fine) and I’m not funding a 10k shower at a restaurant. They have so much free time and it boggles my mind that they can’t plan a shower. Even when I was 25 and broke, no mother ever stepped up to help. Let’s have the broke bridemaids plan it. I planned my best friends shower when I was 8m pregnant with my 3rd. Both of her moms commented on how they wished it was bigger and they could have invited more people. Nope- my friends were in charge of the guest list and they wanted their friends, not yours. Sigh.

I never had a wedding shower because my maid of honor was serving overseas and it’s not proper for moms to throw showers. It stung so I never wanted someone else to feel like that before their wedding. [/quote]

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