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[quote=Anonymous] [/quote]

Op here. Jesus tap dancing Christ, you are harsh.

Look my wife is not a prisoner in my home, I'm not selling her into slave labour. We are a partnership trying to make a life for ourselves and our kids - that means making tradeoffs sometimes, and sometimes those tradeoffs suck. My job has a lot of stress and a fair amount of travel, but I do it because it means my kids 529 plans are funded. It's a hard choice, I'd like to sit at home with him too, but I made the choice that giving them access to a quality education was perhaps more important than my being a 9 to 4 employee. Don't think that doesn't eat me up at times, it does. And this is a judgement call my wife and I made together. All of these decisions come at some cost, you seem ti think its costless. It isnt. And yes, part of that equation is financial - your conclusion that she can just get a job making $1,000 a month in the future demonstrates either a lack of critical thinking skills or poor reading comprehension, not knowing which I won't bother to point out the fallacy of such a POV. But it also non financial: my wife quitting means she gives up (at least to some degree) her professional aspirations, her network of "work friends", etc. that might be worth loosing but it's not black and white. 
Sometimes we see eye to eye - sometimes we don't. What makes this a functional relationship is that I'm actively seeking feedback on my perspective so that I can better understand whether my concerns are reasonable or not. Moreover, although I've called them my concerns, they are shared concerns with my wife. I am perhaps more nervous about these than she (and she more nervous than I about others such as loosing a great nanny, perhaps regretting her decision).

I'm not a perfect husband... not by a long shot, but I'm trying to do what's right for my family. Sounds like your ex husband didn't, which is unfortunate, just try to remember we aren't all gaping assholes. [/quote]

OP, read your post.  No wonder she wants to quit.  You are working long hours and have a side job.  You travel.  One can presume she works full-time and does everything home and child related.  You help when you can, but she is the primary.  She's exhausted.  When you become a parent, often everything changes.  Some good, some bad.  I had lots of professional aspirations.  I have a master's degree.  I had a love-hate relationship with my job but there was more hate than love.  In the end, I gained far more being a mom than a professional and while I can go back to work (with some sacrifices such as income), I can never get back the time with my children.  They are only young once.  You only get one chance at giving them a good childhood to make them strong adults.  Can you do this successfully working?  Of course you can.  My mother worked because she enjoyed it and did not enjoy being home.  Everyone is different.  If your wife is not happy at home, that will give her the opportunity to search for another job, taking her time to get the right fit.  That will be her ultimate motivation to get a job.  At your income, $1000 helps but it will not make or break you.  But, her losing her time with your child, can break your marriage.  Try a week working full time, doing all the child care (i.e. when you travel), cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping (clothing and food), taking the kids to activities & friends, doing homework, etc. and let us know how easy it is for you.  Granted, many single parents do it very well, but she is not a single parent.[/quote]

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