Reply to Just learned my MIL turned away a friend who came to see me in the hospital

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unless there is a long history with your MIL, I would start by assuming good intent. Some people really don't want visitors at the hospital (see approximately 5 gazillion threads on DCUM), so she might have thought she was doing you a favor. If she was harsh enough to make your friend cry, that's not okay, though and should be addressed regardless.

I would call your friend and let her know what happened, though don't fully throw your MIL under the bus. I would also ask your DH to find out why she did it, without accusing.[/quote]
OP here. I wouldn’t say there is a “history”, but MIL is very “them vs us” and gets a little weird around my family/friends/acquaintances, if that makes sense. I worry that if I let this go, she will think I’m accepting of that. [/quote]
I think this is worth addressing, but I would still approach the conversation (or have your DH approach it) with the assumption of good intent. If your goal is to prevent something like this in the future, then putting her on the defensive is less likely to accomplish that.

I would have DH say something like, "Hey mom. Just a heads up that Larla heard that Larlette wanted to come in and see her when she dropped the care package at the hospital, and you suggested that she shouldn't disturb her. I think you might have been trying to help Larla get some rest, but Larla would actually have liked to see Larlette...and generally likes that kind of company. Please check with me or Larla in the future."[/quote]

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