Reply to Ex-husband dating again and bringing women around kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our divorce was finalized just a month ago and I heard from my boys that my ex-husband brought a woman in the house that seems to be his gf during his parenting time.  There is nothing in our agreement that says anything about this, so do I just stay silent? I feel deeply hurt that he is rushing into new relationships and is [b]introducing kids to strange women[/b], that he may not even plan to be in a long term relationship with or marry.[/quote]

Why do you assume he isn't already familiar with these women?  [/quote]
They’re strange to the children DUH[/quote]

Everyone is a stranger until you are introduced.

A parent is capable of deciding whether or not another adult can be introduced to their child.[/quote]
So what? And another parent is capable of finding it, [b]in good faith, [/b]inappropriate for their children to have this sprung on them one month after the divorce. We have freedom of speech and belief in this country.[/quote]

We have reason to question this. OP gives herself away with this admission

[b]"I feel deeply hurt that he is rushing into new relationships"[/b]

That is not her business anymore. It's now a reason to suspect she isn't acting in good faith.[/quote]
She’s human, but taking her feelings out of it, you can still have objectively good faith reasons for not bringing women whose level of commitment are unknown (really, the level of commitment of the exDH to them!) in and out of children’s lives.

Again, DH doesn’t have to agree, but it can be and often is imprudent in practice to involve young children in this stuff.[/quote]

[b]That's not how good faith works. You don't get to exclude behavior and statements that challenge the credibility of your intentions. [/b]

But yes I agree a concern for the parent's capability to introduce adults to children is valid. That said, I'm not advising OP with the automatic assumption that DH is not this capable person.  [/quote]
I beh to differ. There can be two discrete reasonings happening at the same time, unrelated to one another:
1. It hurts my feelings that he’s moving on so fast
and
2. It’s bad to bring casual dates around our kids
1 being true (if it were true) doesn’t somehow magically nullify 2. 2 can be true, independent of 1.

If OPs judgment is colored by her feelings, [b]why would DH’s judgment be any less colored by his feelings and desire for random “new” lady of the month[/b]? They’re on equal footing. The children are whose well-being matters ultimately, above and beyond either of the adults’ feelings.[/quote]

So we agree - we simply cannot (as you put it) “take his feelings out of it”

He gets the same scrutiny. The difference is, I don’t here have as much to scrutinize.

That said, If he was here representing, he could dismiss you with your “two discrete things happening” exception.

OP has clarified she isn’t concerned about his private life, so I can accept that and move on [/quote]

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